no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
