Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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