Christians are straight up FREAKS
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
