Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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