if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
