To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Randomize
