this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
