it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
