GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
