as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize