i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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