Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
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