The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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