but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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