how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
