do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
