awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He shit in the fireplace
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
