If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
