Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me http://tfl.nu/afk5
  Replies (2) Good night (1132) Bad night (737)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating. http://tfl.nu/eva0
  Replies (58) Good night (4658) Bad night (2216)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea. http://tfl.nu/2hiy
  Replies (18) Good night (948) Bad night (5014)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe http://tfl.nu/0gxj
  Replies (17) Good night (1080) Bad night (3448)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  she's a dina-saur

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct (973): that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand (201): she's a dina-saur http://tfl.nu/b0aw
  Replies (32) Good night (5536) Bad night (1115)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux http://tfl.nu/x72r
  Replies (13) Good night (7844) Bad night (1060)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house http://tfl.nu/x9ej
  Replies (11) Good night (3544) Bad night (1205)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies" http://tfl.nu/cpcz
  Replies (7) Good night (3122) Bad night (1169)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count http://tfl.nu/smaa
  Replies (4) Good night (1672) Bad night (1009)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up. http://tfl.nu/rp3b
  Replies (9) Good night (2464) Bad night (1188)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (909): No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets. http://tfl.nu/zkqt
  Replies (6) Good night (2152) Bad night (713)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (928): I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with. http://tfl.nu/qynz
  Replies (2) Good night (1377) Bad night (1058)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point. http://tfl.nu/fmbd
  Replies (1) Good night (711) Bad night (497)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth. http://tfl.nu/zrpp
  Replies (1) Good night (301) Bad night (478)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions. http://tfl.nu/s4to
  Replies (3) Good night (295) Bad night (475)

Randomize