Texts From Last Night

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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!

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  (240): Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr! http://tfl.nu/r5un
  Replies (3) Good night (1531) Bad night (744)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?

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  (860): she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that? http://tfl.nu/vpzp
  Replies (12) Good night (2552) Bad night (707)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'

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  (334): i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified' http://tfl.nu/dnlw
  Replies (51) Good night (2835) Bad night (786)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  you win again, gameday.

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  (713): you win again, gameday. http://tfl.nu/vyt9
  Replies (34) Good night (3037) Bad night (573)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  This house was built for laser tag.

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  (336): This house was built for laser tag. http://tfl.nu/32ag
  Replies (14) Good night (8911) Bad night (625)
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  (737): View more from Texas

  and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."

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  (737): and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best" (303 ): I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas." http://tfl.nu/7cf3
  Replies (59) Good night (4543) Bad night (1031)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.

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  (603): Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone. http://tfl.nu/7k4a
  Replies (12) Good night (1007) Bad night (2425)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.

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  (774): and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date. http://tfl.nu/kedp
  Replies (15) Good night (3220) Bad night (782)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself

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  (902): She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself http://tfl.nu/gzky
  Replies (8) Good night (814) Bad night (3022)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.

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  (573): We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old. http://tfl.nu/bm7p
  Replies (5) Good night (1751) Bad night (1024)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..

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  (519): i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me.. http://tfl.nu/onqg
  Replies (2) Good night (3085) Bad night (1288)
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  (818): View more from California

  That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.

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  (818): That's the last time I do shots near a campfire. http://tfl.nu/w9sa
  Replies (3) Good night (1482) Bad night (1024)
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  (714): View more from California

  Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.

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  (714): Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock. http://tfl.nu/bwd8
  Replies (40) Good night (5382) Bad night (1005)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit

  (1-772): View more from Florida

  Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex

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  (772): I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit (1-772): Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex http://tfl.nu/44ls
  Replies (8) Good night (628) Bad night (1288)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?

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  (+61): I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence? http://tfl.nu/7wi3
  Replies (1) Good night (438) Bad night (263)

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