omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.