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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me

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  Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)

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• (213): View more from California

  dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money

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  23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know

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• (619): View more from California

  Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you

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• (407): View more from Florida

  moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....

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• (925): View more from California

  I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me

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