I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
My life is pants optional.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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