we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
