I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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