I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
