just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
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The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
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I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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