Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize