I feel like I'm in dance class right now
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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