dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
