Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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