Moan for me like Helen Keller
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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