Where did you get a picture of my penis
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
we're making bets on your personal life
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
In other news, I just burned my penis
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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