I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
