Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
two words: eviction party
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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