I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
She needs sedatives and a leash
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
