Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off