ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
