There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
