This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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