My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
