Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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