at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
