A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize