i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
