I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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