she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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