Define "chronic" masturbator.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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