I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I CAN MOONWALK!
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
