I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
