It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Randomize