I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
How external is "for external use only"?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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