Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
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the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
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I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes