Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
false alarm. still invincible.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
