Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
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He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
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all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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