mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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