Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
