It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
